WARNING: May cause butthurt. Not in the booty-building kind of way.
1. The #hkgirl
She draws death stares from other women in her strappy-sports-bra-and-booty-shorts ensemble. She may not be able to fill out her Lululemons—but she’s totally owning that #thighgap.
2. The Gweilo
He can bench more than you and he’s just buffer and taller and handsomer than you in general. He grew up on grass-fed steak while you’ve been grain-fed all your life. Get over it.
3. The Ogler
He pays hundreds of dollars a month for a weekly first row seat in the spinning room to secure a close-up of the Caucasian instructor’s cleavage. Worth. Every. Cent.
4. The Know-It-All
You can count on this guy for unsolicited advice. You’d be an idiot if you didn’t listen to him yammer on about why you shouldn’t let your knees go past your toes when squatting. You can also count on him to spot you: he’ll do most of the work for you, because you’re struggling, obviously.
5. The Mr Hong Kong
He is all pecs and no glutes. He models in the centre of the open area, holding a barbell casually in one hand like it’s a stick of bamboo. You may think he’s checking out the girls stretching in front of the mirror—but really he’s just admiring his fresh undercut.
6. The Hong Kong “Fit” Girl
She’s well-versed in BodyPump, yoga, TRX, pilates, kick-boxing, piloxing—you name it, she’s done it. She can neither do full push-ups or unassisted pull-ups, but prefers to keep it this way, or her Mr Hong Kong might get jealous.
7. The Foam Roller
She’s sitting on the floor with outstretched legs, eyes glued to her smartphone, upper back inhumanly rounded. Text neck? What “text neck”? See that foam roller tucked under her calf? It’s called “being healthy”.